Read Hamza’s letter to Sanjana…a bit long but very reflective of his lifelong dilemma..It is something that I have learnt to recognize as a reality in the last few years.

My problem is that I don’t know the meaning of suffocation or the term “non-freedom”, I guess it’s the simplicity in me. My other problem is that I just can’t hold depression, sadness or helplessness about anything too long inside of me..I have to let it out, do something about it and normalize, otherwise I know I will explode…just like I know I will explode if I have to keep an “unnecessary” secret.

Sanjana is a reality… I am tempted to put up lots of photos of her in this blog but feel it somewhat inappropriate ….i really don’t know why but it just does not feel right… so I’d just add one here and leave the rest for Facebook only.

Honestly, as much as I recognize the reality of becoming a father…I just don’t feel that burden or the difference..I feel as if she has always been there and is not some unusual addition..strange huh?

I however, do feel that I am really excited about what lies ahead of us…

For me it is not about the pampers and the sleepless nights….. poor Mandana is going to have to deal with all that and a lot more…. and whereas I can only try my damnedest to empathize and give a “toota pujhaa” helping hand whenever I can….and that too without being too clumsy!!

…my real excitement is all about entering the new world of Adulthood…

Over the next few years I’d like to share with you my discovery of what I think becoming an adult entails…for me it is all about the shift from being a receiver to becoming a giver…giving is what needs to be defined but for that one is required to find out what all he has taken..

It is going to be one amazing journey….

December 27th, 2008
Categories: The Diary . Author: Ali Noor

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