Sadness…galore
5th January 2009….4:00 am: I was up and as always fighting with my sleep..browsing away… Got an sms from Nadia, noori’s first manager and our closest friend rather sister, she also owns Masooms cafe in lahore with her husband Usman Zaidi who has worked with us on the videos of Tum Hans Diyay and Jana The….khair the sms stated that her brother Rohail had passed away. I was shocked as I knew he was barely 35, a father of 2 and doing fairly well for himself. The SMS did not indicate how he died.
I had met usman just a few hours ago when he came to our hose telling me that Nadia has to gone to visit her family in Islamabad….I wondered if her brother was sick or something…. I called Usman but he would not pick up….
And then suddenly I felt the Earthquake…which was pretty aggressive…I was in the same room in my flat where i felt that October earthquake of 2005…I rushed to the next room where Sanjana was and checked, she was OK. THen I went to my room where Mandana was sleeping and woke her up….she also tried calling but no contact….
She told me to go to sleep and try in the morning…
I could not…my mind transported me back to the morning of 22nd march 2008…
We were in Dubai after finishing a noori gig and Mandana was planning the day for massive shopping spree, when the phone rang…Mandana picked up the phone… it was Nade Ali (Mandana’s first cousin, Nayyara Noor’s son, RJ at FM91 and brother of Jaffar who sings in the band Kaavish)….she chatted for a while and then said that Nade Ali want’s to talk to me…now his phone call in our hotel room was a strange as no one is Pakistan knew which hotel we were staying at not even our parents..I distinctly remember that I got a very chilly feeling….
I took the phone from her and cheerfully said “Hey man… how did you find out we were here?”….the voice in the other side was the coldest and deepest I have ever heard…he said..”Listen very carefully….Zain has passed away…I think you are the best person to tell this to Mandana…now you figure it out how you are going to break it to her…he died in car accident a few days back…his body is coming”….”hmm” I said without letting the slightest emotion come on my face…he hung up and I kept on talking to the dead phone receiver…. chatting about his job and God knows what else… I even cracked a joke or two…anything to prevent Mandana from getting suspicious…she knows me too well…It was the the hardest act I have ever put up in my life….
Zain was Mandana’s oldest brother…..
I left the room at the first opportunity and paced up and down…..I was just so confused…we had a concert the next day in Karachi and we were booked to leave in the evening…should I tell her now…should wait get to Karachi and then I’ll tell but then she would want to go back to Lahore…how will we find a flight for Lahore right now…. it was a Friday and everything closed…what if she faints or something….even Hamza was not there as that was the only time noori was performing in Canada and Dubai in the same date..what to do????.
At the end I just decided to tell he straight forward…she thought I was joking…with the most painful smile she said “this is a very dirty joke”…
Ab mein kya bataun…but all I was thinking was how I was going to handle her…Mashallah she is strong….we did get the flight back to Lahore…got there and then next morning I was on a flight to Karachi for the gig…can you imagine…I learnt the meaning of professionalism that night…
The next few weeks were pure torture…Mandana was the bravest but we were so torn apart…I had never slept a night without her and now she didn’t even have time to find where her shoes were…the whole family took it very bravely…particularly her Father who I think is one the most emotionally disciplined persons I have ever known.
It was then that I decided that we should have a baby…
One life ends and another begins..that’s is what I said to myself….
I did not cry once during this ordeal….
But ever since Nadia’s sms I have cried at least 3 times on different occasions…I just got back from Islamabad today…
He died along with 2 of his friends in car accident coming back from Bhurban…I have only met him once in my life and don’t even remember his face…but this was a time that I got to let out my steam …Nadia is someone who was seen our ups and down so closely…the way she loves me and Hamza has never let us miss a sister…
When I met her she smiled and said “aaj teri training kaam a rahi hai…I have to take care of this family of mine”
I am now experiencing the meaning of the word Empathy…
May GOD bless them with the courage they so desperately need..
pray for her please…..
I, on the other hand, am very depressed!!!
16 Comments
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it is very tough indeed. i know what it’s like ot lose a loved one. nothing seems to comfort the mindr in a situation like this.
my prayers and thoughts go out to her family.
is that December 5 or January 5?
oh shit…you’re right let me fix the date
it is tough but it’s life. All we can do is pray that Allah grants our loved ones a place in heaven. Aameen
My sincerest condolences to you and your friend’s family.
my condolences.
however ur professionalism makes me proud bro. Lage raho noori. Dis is d band I would still headbang to when im 50, bald n fat. Rockon
Oh God, I am really sad to know about these young deaths. I couldn’t stop water coming into my eyes:(
May Allah forgive these young souls and give saber to their family
It happens some time when you just can’t control your emtions,. I couldn’t stop my self to cry when Ahmad Faraz died..and some other people whom i never met ..I just know them with the refrence of some one..
May Allah grant all our love ones in Janaah .. Ameen
i remember that day, the day Mandana’s brother passed away. i was supposed to pick you guys up that morning and i bumped into Mandana as she came out of the lift. i said hello to her in a very casual manner without knowing what had happened, till xulfi informed me. i felt so embarassed and pathetic then.
i’d like to apologise for that day to you both and your family.
bro…why do u need to apoligize…you are a well wisher…..
pray for the souls
….cheers and love
The worst part of somebody’s life would be, breaking the news of someone’s closest death. I have seen my Mum breaking down at times when my Nani and Nana died especially at my eldest khala’s death , but most of all hearing about someone who died at a young age is indeed shocking and depressive.
May Allah bless their souls InshAllah Ameen.
Sometimes it takes a day or a year…the tough part is getting over the pain when it starts…whenever it starts. I hope your friend has the courage to do so.
i first time relized that singers also live a very pain full and strugling life loveu ali noorr m.uzair.baig
Zani and Nadia are both sisters to me and Tony (Rohail)’s death has been one of the most difficult things I’ve done. I was in Islamabad when Zani had come back from Vancouver and Nadia had come back from Lahore. I was flying to London the next morning and I told my parents that I’m going to spend time with Nadia Zani adn the family. We were up till 5 am eating masoom treats that Nadia had brought back with her and chatting constantly and just having a good time. I left their house at 5 am, went home to pack, and went off to the airport. I landed in London and was on the heathrow express train when I got a phone call from Zani and she was hysterically screaming as she had just found out that Tony had a car accident and she was with nadia driving to the hospital. I’ll never forget that day and I remember Tony each and every single day. I didnt get a chance to go back for the funeral as I literally had just landed in London but went last month and got to meet the entire family, including nadia who had come from Lahore. They are going through a tough time but I pray everyday that things get better and allah gives them the strength to cope with this loss.
I can imagine what you went through with Mandana’s older brother passing away and I’m sorry for her loss.
I also experienced something similar when my Aunt and cousin passed away in the earthquake. I wrote a blog post about it – check it when you get a chance. the link is pasted below.
http://omarulhaq.wordpress.com/2009/04/05/hands-unite-in-pakistan-ouh-2/
In the first sentence, I meant that Tony’s death is one of the most difficult things I’ve experienced.
A friend just sent me the link to this blog about Rohail (tony) who was like an older brother to me. Having grown up w/his younger sister he was the older brother we were most scared of. As we grew older the fear turned to mutual respect. His untimely death is something that shook us all to our core and something that we could never be prepared for. I flew over a few days later to mourn this loss with the family, find closure and make sense of it all. Nadia was the strong pillar of support and the person holding the fort in a house that had lost all happiness. Her ability to keep going with her head held up high is something that I will always admire. She took charge and made sure that everyone was taken care of. No day goes by without any of us associated with the family praying for them all and for their courage to move forward.
I miss u so much man we all I cry for u shahid n faisal all the time god man why
I’m so sorry