It was the 14th of june… Karachi…Almost 10 pm and Ali Hamza, Mandana and I along with a 100 or so other celebrities were sitting at the grand MTV awards. We had also invited Mandana’s brother Raad, who  was incidentally on a business trip to Karachi. He has no association whatsoever with music and is in the fuel marketing business.

We were nominated for 2 catagories but our real excitement was about performing our brand new single ”Kedaar”.  We had rehearsed like  maniacs for it. It was all very exciting.

So this is what happens…

The nominations for best rock songs began and Do Dil was the second one…

my heart starts pounding.

The presenters started their usual chit chat before announcing the winner..

And suddenly someone grabs my hand from behind and tells me to get up and come on the side….it was Mandana’s brother Raad.

The next scentence I hear is…

”Baba just called …Ammi has passed away…”

Then from a long distance I hear a scream…”AND THE WINNER IS DO DIL BY NOORI!!!”

Mandana’s mother just passed away…

I almost fell down to the ground..

I dropped on a bench nearby and started chanting ”oh my God..oh my God..oh my God”…I thought I was gonna have a heart attack….

And then Hamza grabs me..”lets go yaar”..

”Don’t tell Mandana”..i whispered to Raad.

…and we were on the stage receiving an award

and then we performed the song..

…and then Mandana found out.

Got back to Lahore..had the funeral the next day..

Flew back to Karachi the day after that performed a concert..

Flew back for the Qul

…..a really dirty Deja Vu

Isn’t this what happened to me exactly the same way a year ago when Mandana’s brother died..

Everything’s a blur now

don’t have the courage to write any further…

I’m sorry….

I have cried so much that my eyes hurt…

Mandana’s completely freaked out…she’s never seen me cry…

Kamla I miss  you sooooo much…..I’m really sorry…

Leaving for abbotabad  this weekend and won’t come back till I have an album in my hand!!!

Its been a month since I wrote here.

But if you recall, the last post was titled “Kuch Kaam Ho Jayay”

…and its true that since then I have worked so much that saari phoonk nikal gayee!!!

It was impossible to even come close to a laptop…let alone write a blog

Well for starters work on the new Album is in full swing so that might excite a few…

had some concerts….

But the most exciting thing of all was the Coke Studio….

Although I have been strictly prohibited by the PR company to divulge any information about the content and working of the coke studio but I can surely talk about our very interesting re-union with Gumby….

Well as you all know that in 2006 we parted ways with Gumby. We wrote a long essay on our website explaining why and then only realizing an hour later, after hitting the “publish button”, that it was nothing but an emotional piece of crap we’d written.

Obviously it was an absolute disaster  and what a hefty price I’ve had to pay for it. Not only every noori fan hated us…the media was disgusted…and most of all Gumby was resolved that if their is an evil person that exists, it has to be Ali Noor. Well he was right as our act was inexcusable. Even though he still attributes every thing to me…whereas Ali Hamza was the one who wrote all the nice English…Hamza always gets away with his masoomiat!!

The real reason why we had parted ways was very simple and it was that we were under a lot of financial stress due to lack of concerts and Gumby being the only bread winner in his family was finding it very hard to stay committed to noori. He said he’d do other shows and also play with us but after a while when we had to call him and ask about his schedule before every interview, concert or TV appearance…the woman in me obviously started reacting to this violation of the possessiveness that she had enjoyed for so many years. So slowly and slowly I started sending out vibes of my displeasure and one fine day right after a concert I told him that it was time to part ways.

It was like a divorce that took place……and what was written on the website was just the bitterness of a self proclaimed wronged wife!!!!

I know some people are  going to make fun of me for writing the preceding sentence …..but am pretty used to it so Fuck off!!!

Khair time passed…their was absolutely no communication between us and Gumby…in the whole scenario, he chose to be the sensible one and kept quiet….whereas we just avoided any conversation on that front. Thank God we did not turn this into any Atif-Jal controversy.

But after a while I started to feel the burden of my mistake. Please understand that I had no regrets about not being able to work again with Gumby and missing out on the greatest drummer…but the hurt that I had created was killing me. I knew that I had to apologize and make sure I am forgiven by accepting any punishment I may have to undergo.

I finally got my opportunity on TMA’s in 2008. We were called in to rehearse a day earlier. I heard that Gumby was coming to play with Ali Azmat. So I waited for him .When he did come the whole hall had quite a few notable musicians and celebrities. As soon as the finished his rehearsal I just rushed and grabbed him saying “Hey Gumby!!” he was  obviously taken aback with my frankness and replied with a very cold “Hello”….

“You have to forgive me!!!”

He was shocked…

“What is there to forgive!!!…man I’ve moved on”…he had a a very bitter smile on his face

“NO you have to forgive me” I grabbed his hand again…

“Dude there is nothing to forgive…” he tried to pull his hand away..

“NO…you have to forgive me” I  pressed his hand even harder…

“ALI NOOR LET GO OFF MY HAND!!!!!”

….he was very loud…… everyone turned around to look…their was silence

Holy cow this was theeeeee most embarrassing time for me…

I had 2 options…either to just walk off and hold a new grudge for this public humiliation ….or to persevere and accept this as the first installment of the so rightly deserved punishment…..

I chose the later….

I pestered and begged him to at least come outside and have a word with me. He refused initially but after a bit of man handling and a hundred “pretty please’s”…he finally agreed to at least save me the pinnacle of my embarrassment…we came outside.

I still remember like yesterday that we were standing next to his car in the entrance road of the Expo centre Karachi.

Gumby finally spoke his heart….

“Do you have any clue how much you hurt me!!”

“Do you know what my mother said when she read your statement”

“My friends….the media….you stabbed me in the back man”

I stood their with my head down…with my hand on his shoulder saying “I know”…”I know”

and then he said

“The way your parents treated me…the way I lived at your house…man we were like family!!!”

I was just dumb struck….it really hurt….

and then I gathered my strength and said to him..

“Yes we were like family and I guess I behaved that way only because I was hurt just like how a brother is from another brother…even if it is unjustified……it is only your closest one who stabs you in the back…I have no excuse for what I did….but I know that I can’t live with this burden on my chest….you will have to forgive me because even you know that what I have done is not like how an enemy does it…you know I am not your enemy”

I was in tears when I was saying this and it took a lot to make sure that he does not think that I’m some sissy!!!

At that moment I felt helpless and at his mercy….

By then Ali Hamza and Mandana had also joined in and Jaffer (kaavish) was also there…Hamza threatened to molest him if he did not forgive me!!!…. Mandana emotionally blackmailed him…….I guess poor Gumby was not given much of an option so at the end he had to give the forgiveness hug!!!

I felt slightly relieved but I knew that this was just the beginning ….

I was spaced out for the next few days….I wanted to meet his mother and apologize to her as well so I called him, but never got around the meeting, as we were too caught up in work…

After that we did not speak at all…..quite a few months passed

and then came a call from Rohial Hyat for the Coke Studio….I knew that Gumby was going to be there and we were going to play together again….

I felt weird……but was very excited as well….

When I got their for the first rehearsal my heart was pounding when I saw him behind the drum kit playing away….he had that fairly grim professional face..

As soon as he got off I went and grabbed him just like the old times…and thank GOD he responded….he had softened a bit….

in the next few days we hung out a bit…but unfortunately there was not much musical interaction…the whole house band for the coke studio were swamped in work….they were overworked as hell….  even the rehearsals we did were very short and to the point…mostly focussed on the rest of the musicians.. i was nothing like the way we used to work in the past…

Then one day when I came to rehearsal, I saw Gumby sitting with ALi Zafar having a bit of a chat so I just joined in.  Ali was saying something about not being able to complete some writing…so i curiously inquired and he told me that he was writing a testimonial for Gumby’s website and that Gumby had asked all those who had worked with him in the past to write testimonials….so like a besharam I said “mein bhi likhoon ga!!!”….Gumby just laughed and said ” jaisay tu nay teen saal pehlay likha tha!!!!!”

…..Ouch that hurt….2nd installment of the punishment!!!!

Ok…i continued with my besharmi and said “nahin is dafa acha likhon ga”….

“Tu rehnay de….” it was very obvious that he was very clear in his mind that he did not want me write anything….and rightly so….

But I am Dheet….so I said “Likhoon ga to mein zuroor…” … and just then I decided that I was going to write this blog entry….

The Gumby that I have known for years…is not the easily forgiving type….he has had a lot of friendships…. very few of them survive to date and we have been privy to quite a few of his debacles… he is a very sensitive person and gets upset very easily…but at the same time he is a very simple person and most importantly he is very good at heart….

He has been family to us and there is no doubt about that …our relationship was not about professionalism  and we enjoyed our time as noori just like 3 brothers…even though he spent his entire life like a professional with the rest of the world….. I know that he knows deep inside that it was a lot more than that with us….

I guess hum ko nazar lag gayeee…..there is no one evil  here…and that is why my heart tells me that some day we’ll be together again…..

I told Jaffer to take this pic…and i think it safely vouches for the nature of our relationship!!!

I know that  a lot of people think the once I fuck up…..  I apologize and get away very easily….but this is the way I have learnt everything in my life and that is what I call growing up….

I have been taught to face consequences and take the punishment….. as cleverness here, can only be fatal……

I know nothing can be undone here and neither can anyone attempt to revive what is lost….

But in the end the world can surely know that Gumby is the good guy and I the bad one!!!!!

Ali Noor

P.s. Now i feel relieved…..

Just love the facebook status updating through my cell phone…the bill has hit the roof though!!

been sick like hell…some serious screw up in my throat…and life’s on hold

slumdog got 8 awards so i look like an idiot..but like always that’s OK

Kate Winslet won the the best actress and that’s amazing as I think the movie of the year was the Reader…

There is a pregnant cat sitting outside our door…i gave her food but I think she wants something else…

Sanjana got her injections and cried like a maniac…it was pretty freaky

ok..buhut ho giya…

ab kuch kaam ho jayay…!!!

I try my best to be pretty less critical about most of the stuff I see. I even watched 8 seasons of “Charmed” and have enjoyed lots of chick flicks….

I went to cinemas in Delhi and saw movies that I would never dare to buy as DVDs in Pakistan, and still came out feeling my money’s well spent, if not for anything but the impact and ambience of the cinema hall and sound etc.

But with this movie I simply felt disturbed. Please don’t for a minute think that the depiction of the slums disturbed me. I have been to India enough to breathe the poverty in (one big reason why my love for Pakistan just does not cease to diminish) .

..what was it it…i can’t seem to place it…

For starters the movie is surely too damn overrated. Secondly I smell serious propaganda here… is this a primer of the “real” India for the West?

And considering the western response in the form the massive oscar nominations blah ..blah blah…it just goes to show that westerners seem a bit too over excited by their new found insight…Its like they discovered Yoga or Kama Sutra all over gain!!!

Waisay goron ki simplicity ka andaza un ki countries mein hi ja kar  hota hai…correct me if I am wrong.

I did not get the English being spoken by the Slumdogs!!!

Kya bakwas!!!

Although the end seemed a bit better but overall the movie really ticked me off..

The cinematography was awesome though…what amazing and difficult shots
The acting for the kids was very good.

Khair yeh movie aik test hai…dekhain goron ki tarha hum mien se kaun kitna impress hota hai?

cheers

Ali Noor

P.s. There is another movie I saw called Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye! which seemed a bit similar to me. I found this movie to be much much better…I just loved the extremely amazing depiction of the punjabi culture in India…seemed a lot real and coherent…apparently inspired from true events. Do check it out and let me know

Been busy
….shifted flats…
…set up a studio
…got a throat infection..took antibiotics..
had a concert..
had the most amazing jam at Ali Zafar right after the show..with Atif, Goher, Shiraz Uppal,…Sikander Mufti, Farhad Hummayun..Caramel and of course Ali Hamza…
Realized that I’m sick of playing my own songs and wanna sing covers…
also realized that music can transcend all insecurities, grudges, bitterness…and  brings people closer…

I’m so lucky to be a musician!

I listened to it and really liked it so I thought I’d formally share it with you all. I Love the lyrics…in fact they are too good and so relevant to our times.

This song  reminds of my old days when when all underground bands used to jam at 107B. MM Alam Road.  Salman who has sung the song, used to be with Farhad Humayun’s old band Mind Riot and I can never forget his Rob Halford look!!

….take a listen

[audio http://sites.google.com/site/thisisalinoor/Home/Fades%2BAway-Aadil%2CHasnain%2CSalman%26Sarmad.mp3]

Song Name: Fades Away
Artists: Aadil Farook,Hasnain Akram,Salman Yasin,Sarmad Ghafoor
Composition: Aadil & Hasnain
Poetry:Aadil
Vocals:Salman Yasin
Lead Guitars:Sarmad Ghafoor
Production,Mixing,Mastering:Sarmad Ghafoor
Ideas (Musical&Production):Aadil

LYRICS

seen a warrior’s burst of rage
seen a martyr’s life outgrow his age
seen vile in great men
seen beauty in false women
seen rivals of a genius
seen tyrants hailed among us
seen the envy of a friend
seen love draw its own end

Seen a rainbow fade when it should stay
seen a summer wait for the next may
seen a leave wither from its youth
seen weathers play with our moods

seen a victim plead for his right
seen a culprit with his last lie
seen guilty hands turn to pray
seen aggression overwhelmed by grace

But the world just doesn’t run on grace
In the crowd, you’re just another face
when you’re gone, you dont ever leave a trace

seen faith take hold of our reason
seen wisdom go out of season
seen hatred for a chosen prophet
seen sacrifices with regret

seen ironies turn to the truth
seen lies bearing the fruits
seen impact of just a thought
seen actions ending with naught

But the world just doesn’t run on grace
In the crowd, you’re just another face
when you’re gone, you dont ever leave a trace

seen voices live longer than singers
seen a maestro play with bleeding fingers
seen life in a dead man’s painting
seen victors go down fainting

But the world just doesn’t run on grace
In the crowd, you’re just another face
when you’re gone, you dont ever leave a trace

Like a whistle it fades away (Chorus repeat)

almost a break down of so many things that I was used to for years….

probably it is just  a mistaken feeling…

But today I’m happy…

I guess my make up does not allow depression to seep in…lucky me

….and of course Mandana Zindabad!

It is my Grandfather Raza’s birthday today and only the grand children (and great grand children!!!) are celebrating since the parents are all missing in.action

Chinese tonight….

Excitement!!!

I had met usman just a few hours ago when he came to our hose telling me that Nadia has to gone to visit her family in Islamabad….I wondered if her brother was sick or something…. I called Usman but he would not pick up….

And then suddenly I felt the Earthquake…which was pretty aggressive…I was in the same room in my flat where i felt that October earthquake of 2005…I rushed to the next room where Sanjana was and checked, she was OK. THen I went to my room where Mandana was sleeping and woke her up….she also tried calling but no contact….

She told me to go to sleep and try in the morning…

I could not…my mind transported me back to the morning  of 22nd march 2008…

We were in Dubai after finishing a noori gig and Mandana was planning the day for massive shopping spree, when the phone rang…Mandana picked up the phone… it was Nade Ali (Mandana’s first cousin, Nayyara Noor’s son, RJ at FM91 and brother of Jaffar who sings in the band Kaavish)….she chatted for a while and then said that Nade Ali want’s to talk to me…now his phone call in our hotel room was a strange as no one is Pakistan knew which hotel we were staying at not even our parents..I distinctly remember that I got a very chilly feeling….

I took the phone from her and cheerfully said “Hey man… how did you find out we were here?”….the voice in the other side was the coldest and deepest I have ever heard…he said..”Listen very carefully….Zain has passed away…I think you are the best person to tell this to Mandana…now you figure it out how you are going to break it to her…he died in car accident a few days back…his body is coming”….”hmm” I said without letting the slightest emotion come on my face…he hung up and I kept on talking to the dead phone receiver…. chatting about his job and God knows what else… I even cracked a joke or two…anything to prevent Mandana from getting suspicious…she knows me too well…It was the the hardest act I have ever put up in my life….

Zain was Mandana’s oldest brother…..

I left the room at the first opportunity and paced up and down…..I was just so confused…we had a concert the next day in Karachi and we were booked to leave in the evening…should I tell her now…should wait get to Karachi and then I’ll tell but then she would want to go back to Lahore…how will we find a flight for Lahore right now…. it was a Friday and everything closed…what if she faints or something….even Hamza was not there as that was the only time noori was performing in Canada and Dubai in the same date..what to do????.

At the end I just decided to tell he straight forward…she thought I was joking…with the most painful smile she said “this is a very dirty joke”…

Ab mein kya bataun…but all I was thinking was how I was going to handle her…Mashallah she is strong….we did get the flight back to Lahore…got there and then next morning I was on a flight to Karachi for the gig…can you imagine…I learnt the meaning of professionalism that night…

The next few weeks were pure torture…Mandana was the bravest but we were so torn apart…I had never slept a night without her and now she didn’t even have time to find where her shoes were…the whole family took it very bravely…particularly her Father who I think is one the most emotionally disciplined persons I have ever known.

It was then that I decided that we should have a baby…

One life ends and another begins..that’s is what I said to myself….

I did not cry once during this ordeal….

But ever since Nadia’s sms I have cried at least 3 times on different occasions…I just got back from Islamabad today…

He died along with 2 of his friends in car accident coming back from Bhurban…I have only met him once in my life and don’t even remember his face…but this was a time that I got to let out my steam …Nadia is someone who was seen our ups and down so closely…the way she loves me and Hamza has never let us miss a sister…

When I met her she smiled and said “aaj teri training kaam a rahi hai…I have to take care of this family of mine”

I am now experiencing the meaning of the word Empathy…

May GOD bless them with the courage they so desperately need..

pray for her please…..

I, on the other hand, am very depressed!!!