What really goes inside one individual’s mind…..only GOD knows!

What i mean to say is that we as persons, are constantly under the impression that when we are consciously saying, doing, feeling, thinking anything, we “ARE” really conscious of it at that time. The truth is very far from it.

After several attempts at trying to observe my own self and my actions from a distance, I can safely vouch for this human misconception.

Sometimes I wonder that all that has actually happened in my entire life is nothing what I actually planned and thought of. In fact when I am in the midst of a “happening” (and I am defining a “happening” as anything which is outside my mind, my inner being and thinking),  then it almost seems as if I am on a swing or a roller coaster and nothing is in my control…I am just flying away. I only realize what happened after the ride is over. Days, months later all that is left is the feeling of that ride and that is the maximum consciousness I have of that happening.

So my consciousness is literally functioning in a delay of days and sometime months. At a given point of time I only think I am in sync but it has never been true.

and hence

What really goes inside one individual’s mind…. only GOD knows!

What do you say???

January 3rd, 2009
Categories: The Diary . Author: Ali Noor . Comments: 9 Comments

Ok I’ve totally lost my patience!!!

I refuse to make an album for a country that does not even allow me 2 hours of constant electricity so that I can at least charge my laptop!!!

Kaise kaam karoonn!!!

I wonder if all the politicians of this country were to die..will we finally have more electricity!!!!

January 3rd, 2009
Categories: The Diary . Author: Ali Noor . Comments: 20 Comments

Day before yesterday… around elevenish..some guests were over to see Sanjana and my blog was under discussion esp. the fact that the Daily News covered it…my Dad was saying that I sometimes make “English” mistakes…..

Then a friend and now a  relative of ours; Sabahat, told me that my blog is simplistic but not simple and then my Dad just joked whether I knew the difference between the two terms…quite frankly I don’t..I mean when I focused, of course I figured it out… but what the hell…with this blog I am acquiring a new tool of expression.

When I was working as a lawyer, every word, every punctuation, the formatting..even the color and size of the paper counted!!! It was a strict regime…my father has mastered it to perfection (I am not exaggerating) but for me writing and reading became a serious “hawwa”..(.i think it would be translated as “something that is a very big deal and very hard to achieve”)…my attempts to acquire fluency in language were always thwarted by the fear of scrutiny…now I don’t even check what I write and I’m sure a lot may feel irritated by my “English” mistakes

Believe me I am not against the necessity of correct “English” but I’d like to save it for places other than my Blog!

…And hey a few years down the road I just might get it right

December 30th, 2008
Categories: The Diary . Author: Ali Noor . Comments: 13 Comments

  Read Hamza’s letter to Sanjana…a bit long but very reflective of his lifelong dilemma..It is something that I have learnt to recognize as a reality in the last few years.

My problem is that I don’t know the meaning of suffocation or the term “non-freedom”, I guess it’s the simplicity in me. My other problem is that I just can’t hold depression, sadness or helplessness about anything too long inside of me..I have to let it out, do something about it and normalize, otherwise I know I will explode…just like I know I will explode if I have to keep an “unnecessary” secret.

Sanjana is a reality… I am tempted to put up lots of photos of her in this blog but feel it somewhat inappropriate ….i really don’t know why but it just does not feel right… so I’d just add one here and leave the rest for Facebook only.

Honestly, as much as I recognize the reality of becoming a father…I just don’t feel that burden or the difference..I feel as if she has always been there and is not some unusual addition..strange huh?

I however, do feel that I am really excited about what lies ahead of us…

For me it is not about the pampers and the sleepless nights….. poor Mandana is going to have to deal with all that and a lot more…. and whereas I can only try my damnedest to empathize and give a “toota pujhaa” helping hand whenever I can….and that too without being too clumsy!!

…my real excitement is all about entering the new world of Adulthood…

Over the next few years I’d like to share with you my discovery of what I think becoming an adult entails…for me it is all about the shift from being a receiver to becoming a giver…giving is what needs to be defined but for that one is required to find out what all he has taken..

It is going to be one amazing journey….

December 27th, 2008
Categories: The Diary . Author: Ali Noor . Comments: 7 Comments

I never thought I’d do this

For in four hours you shall be a Mother!

December 19th, 2008
Categories: The Diary . Author: Ali Noor . Comments: 25 Comments

Ok…now i am now I am convinced that there is a thing called the “mystery of nature” I really don’t know what else to call it..

As some might know that my biggest inspiration in life, guide and mentor is none other than my grandfather Raza. I however talk very little about him publicly, as it would take me quite some time to crystallize in my head, a true depiction what all he is….so lets just leave it at that … But more importantly, since I am very attached to him, I am very concerned about him all the time…even though I am not permitted and rightfully agree in abstaining from an unthinking spontaneous display of my concern for him….

Read more…

December 18th, 2008
Categories: The Diary . Author: Ali Noor . Comments: 17 Comments

As I had expected I am totally slacking in maintaining this blog…. story of my life!

But this time I am not giving up. Been really confused ever since I started this blog. I told my self that I have to write something substantial and hence made “My Thoughts” the default category. But I don’t think that I’m quite there yet….. writing something substantial does not come naturally to me…

Hell writing does not come naturally to me!!

Read more…

December 15th, 2008
Categories: The Diary . Author: Ali Noor . Comments: 4 Comments

Ok….my sincere apologies for not writing in a while….

It is Eid and I totally wish every one the best of bakra cutting!!!

Well quite frankly I have not been writing cuz I’m in a dilemma… Read more…

December 10th, 2008
Categories: The Diary . Author: Ali Noor . Comments: 9 Comments

Ok this is not is rebuttal to hamza’s post “ali noor bara chalak hai” but i just felt like making this the title of my post….in fact I think what would be fun is to actually find out the true meaning and connotation of this word …thanks to this kickass online Urdu dictionary, I am reproducing the meaning: Read more…

November 27th, 2008
Categories: The Diary . Author: Ali Noor . Comments: 13 Comments

…can’t go to sleep…changing mausum…bad throat and flu!

Just read Hamza’s blog …reading it makes me feel like a class 5 school boy maintaining a kiddy diary because his teacher asked him to do so!!! Read more…

November 25th, 2008
Categories: The Diary . Author: Ali Noor . Comments: 5 Comments